My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You ate ashes out of my bong
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
