ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
