I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
