did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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