the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
