shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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