Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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