If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
