I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
