my vag is so smooth its legendary
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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