elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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