Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
