Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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