This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
