Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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