that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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