Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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