after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
