No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
