and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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