I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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