If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
