Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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