I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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