I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
this hospital has no fireball
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Everclear isn't food dammit
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
