Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
