I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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