When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just puked most of my soul out..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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