THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
