i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
