Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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