you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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