hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Every concussion has its silver lining
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
