party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
