she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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