They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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