I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
