Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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