You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
