I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
