She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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