I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
