It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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