Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
