And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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