exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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