its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
