whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
