You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he was CRYING into my vagina
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
he's gonorrhea incarnate
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
