i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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