After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
is that a dick in a sweater?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
