I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Drake has all the answers
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
