Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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