I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
